Establishing Family Support

How many times have each of us said this? "Martial Arts is an addiction" ... "I couldn't quit if I wanted to"!

This is an absolute statement that comes from our hearts, and nobody knows any better than I do, how much effort our spouses and families must put forth to keep us from destroying both!

As a martial artist, we must understand the pressures that our spouses and children must endure, to allow the freedom and massive time commitment necessary to pursue and maintain our major love.
And yes, it is a love relationship between the martial artist and his art. We are obsessed with our studies and our commitment to elevate our art and our lifestyle. They go hand-in-hand, because our art is our lifestyle and eventually our very personality.

With few exceptions, most of our spouses are not, or were not, martial artists when we met and married them. For those who married martial artists, or who eventually molded your spouse into a martial artist, then you are in pretty good shape, because they too now understand this addiction.

For the remainder of us who are the majority, we must work on this issue just about every day, to keep our marriage strong. The average spouse who marries a martial artist, can not comprehend or understand how massive our love and commitment is to the martial arts.
If our love was another person, then maybe our spouses could handle that a little better because there is a way to defend against an intruder who is trying to create a wedge in your marriage or relationship.

How does a spouse defend against something that is not flesh & bone, but is even more powerful and addictive than an extra marital affair? Let's face it, we spend much more time with our martial arts than we do our spouses or children, and we always will! If we are not on a mat or in a dojang/dojo training, then we are at some tournament, seminar or banquet.

Otherwise, we have our noses buried in some martial arts books, magazines or videos.
At the very least, we are on the telephone for hours with some other martial artist talking about all the good stuff happening or coming up. Some of the more fanatical martial artists have jokingly made the statement; "If I could just find a way to teach my martial art how to cook, then I could get rid of my wife!"

All the while, our spouses in many cases are holding down jobs, trying to maintain our homes, pay the bills, cook the meals, care for the children, and keep your sweaty gi's washed.
Some may not appreciate my direct approach to this subject but I was determined to write this article straight forward and tell it like it is in so many pitiful cases. I have witnessed many of my martial artist friends go through divorce court loosing their family and their financial security. It almost happened to me a few years ago! It is next to impossible to give up our martial arts and in so many cases to even cut back our schedules.

We must do everything in our power to maintain strong relations with our spouses and families by finding ways to spend more quality time with both. We must never fail to let our spouses and children know how much more we love them than our martial arts and without their love and support, we will not be able to reach our potential and goals.

As a martial artist, you can not succeed without family support! Take a close look at your relationship and evaluate the areas where you need to focus more attention. You did not marry the martial arts, even if your spouse thinks you did. Yes, we need the support of our family, but our family needs our love and support even more. Find quality time to repair any weak areas in your relationship now, before it's to late. Commit yourself in this order: First to God, then family, then country, then martial arts. All the while, you must allocate the necessary time to earn a living to financially support all of your commitments.

So much to do, so little time!

May God Bless you and your family forever.
John Chambers

P.S. If you want to belong to a martial arts organization that will treat you like family and help you achieve success then visit www.kmaia.org . Sponsored by www.ActionRadio.net and www.RichardHackworth.com